Resident Beavis (Classic ClappingFetus 2003)

(Originally uploaded to Newgrounds on January 14, 2003. This Episode 1 and 2 combined version was made for Ebaumsworld.)

Due to an accident Beavis has found himself trapped in Racoon City and has stumbled upon the Racoon City Police Department where things are about to get weird. To everyone who has ever been a fan of this video I am sorry that I never finished the series. My website started gaining significant popularity at the time that I created this. Between that and struggling through high school (not to mention absurd amounts of weed smoking) I just didn’t have the time. The rise in popularity was due in part to this video and because of Ebaum contacting me about adding Resident Beavis along with a link to my site to the front page of Ebaumsworld. This skyrocketed my daily traffic and my website got featured in brief segment on G4TV which sent my traffic to a level that neither I or my server was prepared to handle. This pretty much turned all of my attention to the site (which I still run by myself) and with no one around with skills I needed to help me I had to pick one thing and give it 100%. Soo long story short, I shifted all of my focus to website duties and graphic design. I trickled out a few more animations and I started making music videos.


Playstation 4 Launch Review

Well the time has come for my review of the Playstation 4. Honestly I meant to have this thing out a long time ago but I got tied up during the holidays and honestly forgot about it. So, now I am back from all the holiday madness and I’m ready to rock.

As I said in my Xbox One review, Sony fuckin rocked E3 while Microsoft was busy taking a metaphorical shit on its dedicated fan base. In the following months Sony was given most hype they have had for a console since the PS2 and we all waited in anticipation to see whether or not they would deliver on all of their promises. Now that its out in the hands of consumers,  I believe I can finally give my opinion on it. Read on for my review.


The System:

The hardware for this generation is very surprising on both consoles. Microsoft decided to make a giant $500 VCR-like box and Sony decided their $400 PS4 was going to be the smallest console they have released since the original grey Playstation (of course we are not counting all of the tiny re-release versions). Not only does Sony have the smallest  and cheapest console between the 2 but they also have the highest specs in their hardware as well thanks to the upgrade to 8gb of DDR5 ram normally used in graphics cards compared to the much slower 8gb of DDR3 in Xbox One. On top of that the hard drive is still removable so that once all of these huge 16-30gb games start showing up you will be able to upgrade it with no hassle. Now if all that wasn’t enough it seems to me after spending some time with both consoles that Sony’s machine actually puts off less heat even though it has higher spec hardware and a smaller design. You can definitely see Sony’s extensive background in hardware engineering behind this beast and that makes it the clear winner in the hardware front even with out the TV capabilities. After all this machine is for video games and games is what it does best.

The User Interface:

Being a graphic designer myself I have a great appreciation for a good looking UI but I have an even greater appreciation for one that is easy to use and good looking. With that being said you might cringe when I tell you that the “XMB” interface from the old PS3 has made the jump. But I wouldn’t freak out yet because they have made significant improvements this time around. Gone is the long archaic row of icons from the PS3. Now we have big beautiful artwork representing all of the content you have been using recently so that every time you sign in you are greeted with all the things that you do most often on the console. However if you miss the clear simplicity of the old icons you are in luck. Simply press up you are now greeted by a new sleeker version of the old XMB mainly used for flipping through settings and friends lists and basically anything that isn’t directly tied to consuming content. Everything is fast and easy to find. Social features are another big improvement now that you can link your Facebook account and see what games your friends are playing and even stream or watch game play from Twitch. Granted you may have to turn some settings off so that you aren’t constantly spamming your friends but the social aspect is a fun addition considering how popular online multiplayer has become these days. On top of all these improvements are fixes to old problems like the slow ass PSN network which is now incredibly fast and the ability to have patches and games download and install automatically without you even being on the console. But with all these improvements there is still very little customization on the new UI and the home screen with all of your recently accessed content is still a little overbearing when you have to scroll ALL the way to the end of it to get your game library. I still can’t pick a clear winner in the category but I will say that PS4 had the most room to improve on its old UI and it delivered.

The Camera:

There isn’t much to say about the PS4 camera other than it is mostly trying to copy the Kinect. The greatest thing about it is that it isn’t mandatory,  however if you do get one there are some neat little things they give you to play around and it shows that there might be some untapped potential to this thing. The camera is surprisingly clear compared to the grainy old PS3 camera and it runs at a decent FPS. The Playroom game that comes with the PS4 is the major area where this thing shines and it is a good representation of what kinds of things you will be doing with it. For instance, it sees the lights on the top of your controller and a menu projects out of your controller and into the augmented 3D space you see on the television. Then you can fling little robots out on to your floor and kick the shit out of them. When your done playing you can suck them back up with the controller Ghostbusters style. The camera also has some very limited voice control but it clearly has not been fully developed because there is only a small handful of commands that do very basic tasks like powering on and off and signing in. It is pretty much just a novelty item at this point but I definitely expect we will be using it quite a bit in the future.

The Controller:

This is where the PS4 really innovates. The new DualShock 4 does everything right. It has motion sensors for all your motion gaming needs. It has a multi-touch pad that clicks in like an extra button which has been cleverly used to navigate things like maps in some games and in others you can swipe different directions to send commands to your AI companions. There is also a speaker on the bottom for random gameplay scenarios like phones or walkie talkies. There are also new improved sticks and triggers so that your fingers aren’t slipping off the back of the controller anymore and your fingers rest more naturally on the thumb sticks. They also added a better dpad, colored lights on top to identify players, and even a super convenient audio port on the bottom that you can use not only for chatting but for routing all of the consoles audio through the controller to any pair of head phones you have lying around the house. Also they removed the start and select buttons and replaced them with Share and Options buttons for sharing content on the PSN with your friends and getting to in game menus. I can not brag on this controller enough. Sony knocked it out of the park on this one and it will most definitely win some awards.

The Games:

Sony has really pushed the indie games movement lately and in return it seems like they are giving the better value so far. Once you get your PS4 you will have a code for a free month of PS+ which will get you free games for every month that you are a member. So right from the start you get 2 games free plus whatever game you happened to purchase. Then once you dig into the PSN you realize that there are several free to play games already available. You can honestly just get a PS4 with no games and simply hook it up, put in the coupon code, and now you already have access to 2 PS+ game and 4 free to play games. I think this is going to be a major thing moving forward when it comes to buying decisions between the 2 consoles. However I will say that this console is lacking a truly awesome next gen exclusive like Dead Rising or Killer Instinct. Instead we get another entry in the lackluster (personal opinion) Killzone franchise and a charming but overly simple platformer with Knack and the rest is kind of just mildly enjoyable. Honestly the best games are on Microsoft’s side but there are less of them and you don’t get shit for free except one playable character in Killer Instinct. So I guess you could say PS4 has the better value and Microsoft has the better lineup.

Overall I am going to have to give it Sony so far for leading the pack this gen. They have come a long way since the dark days of the PS3. Things can always change down the road but as long as they stay so consumer minded then you can expect to see Sony make a big comeback this time around.


Xbox One Launch Review

Okay, so this year I decided to do something crazy and I purchased both of the new “next generation” gaming consoles and holy shit does my wallet hurt. But now that I have finally sat down and really drilled into the heart of both consoles I would like to give my unbiased opinion of both consoles.

So I guess we can start with the Xbox One.


So this generation you could have called me a dedicated Xbox 360 fan boy. Well, you could have until these past 2 years which I have spent playing mostly on PC and PS3. However up to that point, nearly every single multi-platform game that I purchased this generation was on 360. I have dedicated hundreds if not thousands of hours to consuming amazingly crafted stories and game play. There just simply wasn’t anything like it before 2005, the totally unmatched quality of xbox live, the indie movement, the rise of the downloadable games, it has been a great time to be a gamer. Of course I have been distracted from time to time by the newest Mario or Zelda games on the Wii and even Diablo 3 for PC and Last of Us on PS3 but my 360 always found a way to bring me back. So once the rumor mill started up about the new consoles I was as giddy as a school girl at a fuckin Beatles concert to hear any kind of news. Well Microsoft came out of gate with a absolutely terrible reveal event full of TV promo shit and pandering to sports fans and COD fans and then proceeded to constantly shoot themselves in the ass every chance they got afterwards. But to my surprise, over the next several months they have managed to completely flip their image, although I am sure the face under the mask is still the same and they will butt fuck us the next time they get a chance. So now here we are 8 years after the launch of the 360 with the new console hooked up in my living room 69ing with my cable box and I am happy to say this is a great system with some minor kinks that need to be ironed out with patches in the very near future.


The System: 

The design of this system is very reminiscent of the original Xbox with its big black bulky VCR like structure. Its like the Mr.T of game consoles. I guess they decided they didn’t want to pander to the tastes of the Japanese market anymore like they did with the small sleek shape of the original 360. But I think this airflow friendly shape will save Microsoft from another red ring debacle. As far as inputs and ports go, this thing has everything from HDMI, USB and Optical Audio ports to IR blaster and proprietary Kinect ports. They have done away with the SD support it seems as they do not provide any cables to hook this thing up to a older SD sets, which I believe is a good thing and will hopefully get more consumers to buy HDTVs. My only few complaints are that its huge size severely limits the places it can be stored in a small entertainment center shelf and it has really created a pain for me when I need to switch things around and unhook stuff (I tinker with shit alot). Secondly the weight of this box is nothing to ignore, you could literally crush a grown mans skull with this thing, it is definitely a “go to” weapon in a pinch if zombies invade but it is a bummer that all of this creates very intense situations when holding this box overhead and trying to disconnect and reconnect wires from it.


The User Interface: 

The new UI is very nice and responsive. It has a distinct Windows 8 feel to it but in much more user friendly way. Gone are the slow loading times of the 360 dash board UI and now your screen is filled with tons of boxes varying in size displaying a myriad of content. Your games are much easier to find this time around and its easy to jump in and out of game play and back to the dashboard at a seconds notice without ever having to completely close out your game. The next huge leap this system takes is in the Watch TV activity, the console lets you pipe in your cable signal into the Xbox and it is awesome! Though it cannot control your On Demand menus or DVR im sure those capabilities are not far away with all the patches they are planning to roll out over time. The biggest gripes that I have with the Xbox One’s UI are the sorting options just simply aren’t up to standards whether you are looking through your own games list or the market place, there is a lot lacking in this department. Also the inability to simply add a person you just met online to your friends list is a shocking revelation. You literally have to back out to the dashboard go to your friends list and dig into those menus where you can manually add a friend and then you have to type in their full gamertag. This is a major over site for them to make. While it may not seem like that big of a deal to some people, we should all fight for a seamless, quick, and easy experience. Also their is just a little too much going on in the menus and their are times you will spend an hour trying to figure out how to do one simple thing.


The Camera: 

The Kinect seems like it has some improvements as well but I have yet to put it to the test beyond simple voice commands which the Kinect has always done fairly well with because it is too sensitive. I moved my Kinect twice and re-calibrated it several times and I could never get it let me try out the one Kinect demo available on the Marketplace and I have PLENTY of room space. But in its favor there is nothing like walking into the room and commanding your Xbox to turn its self on and your TV on and then telling it to tune into your favorite show and you having never touched a remote. I was also able to catch a glimpse of the camera quality which has majorly improved and the gestures still seem to work very well. Once Microsoft get the sensitivity issues under control I will be able to give my opinion on the Kinect game play.


The Controller: 

This is an amazing controller, it has so many improvements but they are not all perfect. First off it is very similar to the 360 controller so it would be safe to say if you like one then you will like the other. They removed the back and start buttons and replaced them with Menu and View, it seems both consoles removed these buttons this generation but I believe it is all of the better because who the fuck uses the back/select button? Also gone are the loud clickity clack sounds of the triggers, now they have some type of pad underneath that keeps it from making that noise but doesn’t hinder the feeling of the triggers themselves. The analog sticks have also been improved with better gripping heads and rumble motors under each stick. The biggest and best improvement is the d-pad, holy shit this is an awesome d-pad, it reminds me of the good old NES d-pads but improved even further. My only real complaint is that the LB and RB bumpers are in terrible spots now and it makes my fingers sore to push them a lot. Also for some reason the PC connectivity is not working at launch which is a total bummer for me since I do have a decent gaming pc.


The Games: 

Killer Instinct.. that is all. Just kidding they really do have a great line up of games at launch but it is sadly lacking a really badass must have game. Yeah Killer Instinct is a really really great game but fighting games can only hold your attention for so long before the blisters on your hands make you move on to something else. I also purchased Dead Rising 3 as well and it a fantastic game but it does little to show off your new hardware beyond the massive number of zombies on screen which are all rendered well below 1080p. The only other game I tried was Kinect Sports Rivals which I never got to work because Kinect is too sensitive. I was just hoping their would be this big Halo type game that would blow my socks off and sadly their isn’t one but I am more than happy to console myself with Killer Instinct and Dead Rising 3 until the next big Bethesda game or the next Bioshock. As for all the other launch titles I have been keeping track of the reviews and for the most part their are some very good and interesting games but nothing that seems to stand out.

To wrap things up I will say that I am very impressed and excited to see what is in store for us down the line. Too bad we are about a year or 2 away from really seeing what these consoles are capable of.


Evil Dead (2013) Review

evil-dead-remakeThis morning I got up sick as fuck with a horrible cold, shoved a bunch of assorted medicines into my face hole, got a baby sitter for my 1 year old, and dragged my fat ass to the theater to witness “The Lord of the Rings” of horror. I hope you glued your fuckin mental socks on cause the new Evil Dead is going to tear them off, saw them in half, shoot them with a nail gun,  rip them apart, and then vomit on your face. This ghastly showcase of blood and gore is like a nostalgic walk down memory lane. In the beginning it makes you feel at home with little homages to the original 1981 film sprinkled through out the scene. In particular the old beat up and rusted 1973 Oldsmobile makes an appearance sitting quietly beside the cabin as if this is not the first nightmare that has occurred here. This, among other things I will not spoil for you, leads me to believe that this was definitely NOT a remake in the sense that you may be thinking. It feels like a  fresh take on an old story and is presented in a way that not only pays tribute the original but also fleshes out the story with enough content to stand as a sequel.

With this new cast of characters we are introduced to a much more well rounded group with a back story as opposed to the original movies which had mostly forgettable characters aside from Ash and whatever girlfriend he happened to be dismembering. I felt more connected to the characters in this movie than I ever did in the originals and you could feel that connection carry over between the characters in a way that made you actually give a shit about them dying. This is not to say that there isn’t any flesh for the meat grinder because there are a couple characters given less screen time that you know are there just to be tortured meat puppets. Since I am talking about the cast I will note that Bruce Campbell is nowhere to be seen in this movie which is kind of a let down but it also allows for these young actors to get their feet dirty in ways that a 54 year old man just simply wouldn’t be able to hang with. I am not discounting Bruce though because I would love to see him in the next film but I highly doubt we will ever see him beat the living shit out of him self in a kitchen again, but to have him on board just to kill a few more deadites and flesh out the story even more would be spectacular. Anyways to get back on track here, gore… there is a LOT of it in this movie. I am not talking Saw and Hostel torture porn bullshit, I am talking about the fun kind of gore that has us horror fans frothing at the mouth. By the end of this movie you will have witnessed some of the goriest scenes ever put on film with all kinds of body parts being ripped, sliced, sawed, gouged, and splattered against the wall.

Although this is one the best horror films I have seen in theaters in years it does have a few issues I would like to address. The opening scene alludes to some things that happened in the past and presents some new characters that bring about questions that are never answered or even hinted to afterwards. For instance who are those fuckin “the hills have eyes” lookin creeps in the cellar at the beginning and why does this creepy old lady know so much about the book. My only other beef I have with this movie is with Mia the main character who for the larger part of the movie is just a recovering mentally unstable junkie looking for a way out. But before I bash the direction they took with her character I must commend her for this role because she was brutally tortured throughout this movie and some of those scenes including being buried alive actually happened to her in real life because the director Fede Alvarez wanted to make sure that all of the effects were practical and that they only used CGI when they absolutely had to. So she becomes this super fuckin evil antagonist who’s sole purpose is to torment the other characters throughout the film.  She takes this role and runs with it and does a spectacular job scaring the shit out of you but there is a twist that you may or may not see coming near the end. It puts her character into an awesome position (which I will not spoil) but it happens so quick that it just feels rushed and is not given a deserving amount of screen time and you are left wishing there was more to it. I am sure the director wants to leave some wiggle room for character development in the second film but some times less is not more.


To sum it all up though this was a fuckin great Evil Dead movie and if you are a fan you should be at the theater right now instead of reading this shit. I would gladly welcome this entry into the Evil Dead series in fact I think we should call it Evil Dead 4 from now on. Look out for the unrated Blu-ray because the movie has some scenes cut out of it in order to get an R rating.


ClappingFetus Interviews the Church of Satan

This is an old interview I did back in 2006 while doing research on various taboo subjects. Forgive my shitty questions, I was fresh out of high school at the time and pretty naive about the world. It was a long looong time ago but it is still an interesting read so check it out.

November 29th, 2006

After watching a documentary recently I contacted the Church of Satan for a little interview. Before you spit hate at me just know that I am agnostic and do not swear myself to any particular religion but I figured we should all still be educated so I went into it with a neutral stance. At first I didn’t believe anyone would respond to me but to my surprise not only did they respond promptly but I got an interview with the head of the entire organization Peter H. Gilmore and he is actually a very nice guy.

Here is the interview unedited in its entirety…

First off can you tell me your name?

I am Peter H. Gilmore, High Priest of the Church of Satan.

What position do you hold in the Church?

I am the head of the organization.

Why was the Church of Satan started?

Anton LaVey founded it as he saw a need for an organization that would be a device for presenting the philosophy of Satanism, which could serve as a worldwide source for accurate transmission of his ideas.

Was Anton LaVey ever part of any other religion before he started the Church of Satan?

No he wasn’t.

How did the Church grow as much as it did in the conservative society we have today?

There will always be an underground of iconoclastic thinkers who seek out their fellows, in both contemporary society and in works of past outsiders, and those individuals are active in their efforts to find kindred minds. When the Church of Satan was founded in 1966, that was a period of experimentation on many levels of society. That we continue to grow at a solid pace in this more conservative time is aided by the worldwide availability of clear information on the Internet, fueled by the dissatisfaction of people who feel stifled by repressive thought wherever and however it is implemented.

How far has the Church reached? Are there Churches over seas?

We are one organization, headquartered in New York City, and we’ve been international in scope since early in our history. It grows at a very satisfying pace these days, with members in just about every nation on the globe, and we work to translate our literature into as many languages as possible so that people who we feel are scattered members of our “meta-tribe” can find their way to a philosophy that reflects their true nature.

Does the Church have any restrictions on who may join?

We restrict membership to the age of adulthood in the member’s nation of residence. We also deny membership to legal adults who have been convicted of crimes which violate our philosophy.

Are there any restrictions on what members are aloud to do or wear like in other religions?

Members may wear whatever they choose, since we champion individualism. Each member perceives himself to be the god at the center of his subjective universe, and so personal taste reigns supreme. Our members are encouraged to obey the laws of their nations of residence, and if they disagree with certain laws, to become active in working towards legislation to change them or to relocate to another nation which is more to their liking.

How do you face skeptical people who are scared of the Church and its members?

We seek to educate them through our literature and via our representatives, however, you can lead someone to facts but you can’t make them think. Minds closed by choice, often because of timidity and fear of diversity, may never be prepared to function in a secular world which promotes widely varied alternative paths towards fulfillment.

What is the Churches opinion on drug use?

We see the compulsive use of drugs as a danger as they can serve to enslave an individual as well as to cloud their minds so that the perception of reality will be impaired. Satanists revel and succeed in the real world, we don’t try to escape it.

Is there anyone famous who is openly a member of the Church?

Yes, today you’ll see a number of popular musicians who are open about membership such as King Diamond, Marilyn Manson, and others whom you’ll find linked on our Links page at our official web site, Past celebrity members include Sammy Davis, Jr. and Jayne Mansfield.

I read a quote by Anton LaVey where he said “I have no use for the bands who take the Devil’s name, but are too chickenshit to play the Devil’s game.” Are there any bands you believe he was talking about in particular?

He did not elaborate on that to me, and I don’t think he would give them any publicity by mentioning them specifically, as that just helps them to get attention that he would feel was undeserved. Those who are in the know will be able to see for themselves.

What are the Churches plans for the future?

To continue the course as set by Dr. LaVey, using evolving technologies for communication and for creating new literature and media that demonstrate the efficacy of Satanism as a life-enhancing perspective for those to whom it comes naturally.

If there were one thing you could say to all the christian evangelists in the world what would you say?

To those who have some sort of missionary goals, “Mind your own business.” Satanism is for the few who are born to it, having a nature that would not be able to bend itself to belief in spiritual fantasies. We Satanists do not proselytize, and we expect that the world’s other religions should do likewise. Satanism will always be a niche-religion, and many of the human herd will always need some sort of belief system which provides some “daddy figure” whether it be a government or a god. They are welcome to whatever beliefs give them comfort so long as they don’t force them on us, and so long as they are not used as a basis for governing or for understanding the nature of the universe. Open-minded science, not faith, must be the standard for expanding human understanding.

I think thats about all the questions I have. Thank you for your time. The crew at ClappingFetus.COM wishes you the best luck!

You are welcome!

Best wishes,

Peter H. Gilmore