zombielandposterhSo I was a huge fan of the movie Zombieland and when I heard it was being made into a TV Series I was happy yet skeptical. Now I’m just utterly ashamed. Ashamed that I actually sat through this fuckin garbage. I love zombie apocalypse stories of all kinds but this is just irredeemable. The actors look nothing like their goofy but clever movie counterparts, instead what you get is a bunch of generic assholes that look and act like they came out of various Nickelodeon sitcoms. Seriously, the talent on board here is something you would expect from a children’s show or some shitty late night infomercial.

The dialog at times is reminiscent of the original film but the jokes feel like left overs from the Bob Saget era of America’s Funniest Home Videos. The punchlines fall flat every time and the only smiles you will get out of this bargain bin bullshit is the sigh of relief you get from pressing the stop button. This show contains some of the shittiest one liners that have ever graced my fuckin ear hole. This nightmare land is packed to the brim with pre-adolescent toilet humor and sex jokes. Also we get this dumbass who thinks he can imitate Woody Harrelson while he proceeds to absolutely ruin every opportunity for the show to redeemed itself.

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What makes this while ordeal even worse is that the sets are the embarrassingly cheap. At times I wondered if these sets were from some sort of Mad TV sketch gone wrong. From the sets to the make up and effects, everything about this show reeks of laziness and greed. The constant references to the rules are back, which are then displayed in the environment like the original only this time it looks like shitty flash animations done by a 16 year old. The whole ordeal just seems like they were trying to impress kids with crude jokes and seeing how many times they could force “shit, fuck, or vagina” into the dialog. I am no stranger to vulgarity (i love me some fuckin curse words) but when it sounds out of place and forced on a character it takes me out of the experience.

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It’s sad too see such a great property get treated with such disregard. You can tell that this was a pure and simple cash in on the license that was rushed and slapped together with no passion for the source material. Honestly I could go on and on about how awful this pilot is but really it doesn’t even deserve this review. This is by far the worst zombie related media that I have experienced in years.

Somebody needs to take this thing out back and put it out of its misery.

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Zombieland TV Series Pilot Review – Absolutely Terrible

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